“The Voice Of Grief” - 1/4/25
The book of Ruth touches on many aspects of the human experience. In Ruth 1:11-14, 20-21, we are touched by the grief experienced by a lady who had been widowed and lost her grown sons. We are not told the length of time that has passed between the death of her husband and sons and her intention to return to Bethlehem, but she continued to grieve their passing. While she will have some relief in returning to her homeland, imagine the pain she would experience in leaving her husband and sons’ bodies in Moab.
Now that she plans to return, she sees her daughters-in-law intending to return with her (1:7, 10). To this action, Naomi responds by demanding they return to their “mother’s house” and marry new husbands (1:8). At their insistence that they will travel with her (v. 10), she reminds them that she has no one for them to marry (1:11-13). This might seem strange in the 21st century, but in those days, it was common among the Jews for the widow to marry her brother-in-law (Gen. 38:11; Deut. 25:5). This was called the “Levirate law.” In this situation, since neither widow had another prospect for a husband, and Naomi saw herself as past the age of childbearing, she was content to send them back to their respective homes in Moab to essentially start over again with new husbands.
People often express grief by pushing others away from them. This is what Naomi was doing. When she needed support, love, and concern from Orpah and Ruth (for indeed, these women knew what it was like to lose a husband), she thought it better to send them away and return home alone. How much more fitting might the statement of Ruth 1:21 have been if she had done this?
During times of extreme emotional distress is no time to make life-changing decisions. Nor is it a time to be alone! Solomon taught us, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecc. 4:9-12). God didn’t create us to be hermits but to be socially connected (Gen. 2:18). In times of hardship, grief, and the like, we need one another all the more (Isa. 35:3-4; Heb. 12:12; I Thess. 5:14)! Naomi, however, would have none of this (Ruth 1:8-9, 11-14).
Have you been guilty of pushing people away from you when you need them the most? Sometimes, folks will push God out of their lives when in extreme sorrow or loss. This is an even worse mistake than what Naomi was trying to do! “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart …” (Ps. 34:18). Are we drawing closer to God when in a time of sadness or grief (Jas. 4:8)? If not, why not?
During times of grief is no time to push God away. It is no time to push loving people out of our lives, especially brethren. This is the time we need that comfort and support. Sadly, Naomi did not see her need for such support. Thankfully, Ruth did (Ruth 1:16-17)!
What do you do when you are grieved? Take a lesson from Naomi and avoid doing what she tried to do (Rom. 15:4; I Cor. 10:11)!
- Jarrod M. Jacobs